How many times per day, week or month do you get irritated with the word “should?” You might not realize the word when you hear it, but I can guarantee you feel some sort of emotion. What emotion is most common? Guilt! Should is one of the most harmful words in our vocabularies, here’s why you need to remove it…
“You should do…”
Let’s be honest, if you’re on planet earth, you have probably been told what you “should” be doing a thousand times per day. Whether it’s on tv, online or by your friends or family. Maybe even all of the above!
Everyone is full of advice and believes they can tell others what they should do. Some might have harmless intent and simply want to help you, others may be flat out trying to make you feel guilty and miserable about your choices.
Either way, you probably end up feeling guilty.
Should vs advice
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard…and still hear…how I should be doing something. Whether it’s the way I wear my hair, all the way down to what I “should” say.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all one for advice, but having someone tell me I should do something is like hearing someone tell me to calm down. Either way, it gets me worked up.
By nature, most of us seek advice and help, whether it’s the little day to day things or big life changes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking counsel or asking for help when it’s needed. I personally believe it’s healthy.
I also believe it’s healthy to listen and learn others’ opinions, but there is a difference in someone telling you what you should do and offering advice.
If it were me…
I personally respond best, and love, when I’m asking someone for help and they say something like “if it were me, I would…” When they say this, they’re not pushing their beliefs on you and telling you what to do, they’re simply stating how they would handle the situation.
Humans are much more receptive to taking advice when it’s offered from someone else’s point of view and personal beliefs.
When we listen to what we “should” do, and then we do it, it takes away our ability to think on our own and make decisions for ourselves. The worst part about it is that it more often than not, leaves you feeling extremely guilty or just flat out pissed off when someone tells you what you should do.
I challenge you to remove the word “should” from your vocabulary. You’ll be amazed at how much you actually say it. I am by no means claiming to be perfect at this! My whole blog is on self help and advice for others.
Take it day by day and start tomorrow, we can do this together!
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