In one of my recent posts I provided tips on how to get more done with laser focus. We have so many distractions constantly pulling at us to do more, it’s easy to get sucked in and overwhelmed. But what would happen if we were better equipped to just say no? Here is why saying no is the ultimate form of self-care…
Saying no creates boundaries
You know that feeling when you say yes to something and immediately dread your decision every moment leading up to whatever you said yes to? Yeah…I know that feeling.
I use to say yes to every little thing for two reasons:
- I didn’t want to let people down
- I thought it would get me ahead at work
Let’s address number one first. I’m a people pleaser by nature so the thought of letting someone down by saying no tortures me. I used to be a full on yes girl to everyone and everything until I ran myself ragged.
Then I couldn’t figure out why I was agitated or frustrated all the time. The little things started to become big things because I was doing too much.
Here come the boundaries
Through some therapy and close family heart to heart’s I learned that saying no is self-care and protected my time. It created much needed boundaries for my personal life and helped me prioritize what really mattered.
I learned if it doesn’t directly tie back to my purpose and mission in life as well as one of my anchors, it is no. Simple as that!
Yes girl at work
The second reason is something I see all the time. It’s so common for people, especially women, to say yes to doing everything at work because we think it will get us ahead.
I’ve learned in my 10 year corporate setting that saying yes to everything only sets you up to work more than anyone else and usually take on the grunt work no one else wants to do.
Eventually you’ll become the office secretary, personal assistant and everything else under the sun on top of your 40+ hour a week job.
Use this rule: if it doesn’t serve your current job or the job you want to have next, say no. You will thank yourself later for the credibility and respect you’ve earned.
Saying no actually means yes
Saying no for the benefit of self-care to things that don’t serve you actually means yes because you’re creating the time and space to do more of what you love.
The more you start using the word no, the more you’ll get used to it. It’ll get easier as time goes on. If others are not supportive of your no’s, as long as you’re not doing it to intentionally hurt them, you should reevaluate the relationship as it may not be healthy for you.
What do you say no to? How do you do it? Have you found it helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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