The past few weeks have been nothing short of a whirlwind while dealing with a chronic illness. I’ve had a hospital stay along with six different kind of doctors appointments. If you follow me on Instagram, you know it’s been full of ups and downs.
When Whispering in Wonderland was born, I made a commitment to share the real, raw and honest behind the scenes stories you don’t always get to see on the every day social media account.
It’s important to me to share a life update with you, my sweet readers, because if I can provide comfort to one person who may be going through a similar experience, then I’ve done my job. You may also see a lag in posts from time to time because of everything going on.
A peek inside
For the past three years, I’ve been chasing health issues, begging for answers. It started with my stomach and has morphed into something much bigger as of late, affecting my body in general.
Most recently I experienced my scariest episode yet, which led to the hospital. I left with no answers and now doctors around me are rushing to figure it out.
While I do have a few diagnosed autoimmune disorders, a bunch of my symptoms have come with no explanation up to this point.
I should know more very soon in the upcoming weeks. If you’re the praying type and wouldn’t mind it, please say an extra prayer for me.
Dealing with chronic illness is hard but it’s harder during a pandemic
Dealing with chronic illness is hard. Period. Whether you know what’s causing it or not.
It’s a tough game to play to deal with symptoms while constantly searching for answers. On top of that the diagnosis’ I have received gave me hope it would solve all of the issues, but they didn’t.
Now it’s a vicious cycle and waiting game of having doctors look at me puzzled while I feel like an experiment. I understand they’re doing their job but it’s hard to be further along in the journey, have increased issues and no answers. It’s not only taxing on you but your loved ones too.
Throw a global pandemic on top of it and I’m having to go to every doctor appointment alone. As well as stay in the hospital alone while terrified.
I can’t describe or explain how hard it is to consume each appointment, each test, each result alone in that room with the doctor because of the pandemic. I’ve certainly shed some tears to my doctors.
Then, I have to repeat everything I heard to my loved ones and sort out which appointments are where, when and with which doctor or hospital. Thank God for my sweet partner, he has been the most incredible human through all of this. I don’t know how people go through these things truly alone. I certainly hold a special place in my heart for them.
So here I am
I realize this may sound like a lot of complaining but this is real life shit. It’s raw and scary with so much unknown.
What does help with all of this outside my family is gratitude, calm environments and the incredible people surrounding me.
I’ve always been a silver linings kind of girl and my mom always taught me to find the good in each situation growing up.
I find peace in knowing I have so many resources around me, from my job to the doctor’s and people in my life. There isn’t a day that goes by where my phone isn’t full of sweet messages from those checking in.
If you’re in a similar situation or suffering in some way, I’m here for you. I feel foryou, I’ll pray for you and cheer you on as you go through your journey.
Let’s always remember that kindness is queen and there is never a reason not to choose kindness. You never know what someone else is going through, whether they outwardly show it or not.
If you’re looking for a friend, reach out to me.